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Distance

by Jess Cornelius

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    The debut solo album. On 140g crystal clear vinyl with high melt blue swirl.

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1.
Guy, take me out at night I forgot to tell you I’m from a different country And there’s so much I don’t want from you Guy, open up your home Make me tea and toast And later in the morning I’ll find my shoes and makeup Leaving gets so easy you just Walk out of the bedroom And then you walk Out of the bathroom And then you walk Across the kitchen floor And you just let your feet carry you Straight out the front door. Guy, I am getting older People tell me I should Find someone to look after But I seem to keep on Walking faster Staying’s harder Leaving can be easy, you just Walk out of the bedroom And then you walk Out of the bathroom And then you walk Across the kitchen floor And you just let your feet carry you Straight out the front door. Uh oh, this is gonna be a hard one This is gonna be the hardest on I’ve ever done How can I get it done? How can I walk Out of your bedroom And then just let my fee carry me Straight out your front door?
2.
Well it all feels harder than normal And you wonder how it’s happened again So you concentrate hard on your breathing Cause it’s easier than feeling what you feel Heave and hell, is only a concept If it makes no difference, you might as well be happy about it It makes no difference how you feel If it’s gone it’s gone and You gotta keep on doing without it And one day it’ll feel like none of this was real You wanna be like how they say in that old non-fiction Just float along with the waves Just back and forth in any direction Whereever you end up is gonna be the right way But we know It’s not true It’s so hard to take indifferent like that If it makes no difference, you might as well be happy about it It makes no difference if you care If it’s gone it’s gone and You gotta keep on doing without it And one day it’ll feel like none of this was real Go easy when you’re lying in your bed Cos the thoughts you’re having then are not the clearest or most logical of all Go easy cos it’s harder in the night And it’s harder when you’re tired And you can’t see it’s just a feeling And it’s separate from the real thing.
3.
Body Memory 04:14
When we met I used to make you laugh Then we lost the baby and it broke my heart And I find it hard to be that funny now Tried to tell you that I can’t rewind I can’t walk backwards in my mind Cos my body has a memory and it won’t forget And I was my own woman once And I was sure I was enough Yes it’s true that I was on the fence The future scared me half to death But for those two weeks I felt like someone We had a plan and the plan fell through I wish it could be simple like it is for you But my body has a memory and it won’t forget And I was my own woman once And I was sure I was enough If you love me don’t hurt me like that I know you’re feeling pressured and just Talking ‘bout it makes you start to crack If you love me don’t hurt me like that Cos my body has a memory and it won’t forget And my mind has a body and it’s not done yet.
4.
I know it’s easy for no one It’s easy for no one at all I see them leaning on the bar With no clue as to who they are And I don’t feel like I’m missing out on so much Anymore But I just can’t begin I keep wasting my time On other things Like thinking of the past and all the other lives I could have lived instead Some things get stuck in my head Maybe I’m dreaming but That’s enough I see no reason to be a bore And all of those things they say that you should want and should be aiming for Forget them all People are stupid and they don’t know what they’re saying Most of the time Time is a fool It just doesn’t listen It just doesn’t listen to me It doesn’t do a thing I say Keeps on passing anyway But I don’t feel the same way about it anymore Oh I just can’t begin I keep wasting my time On other things Like thinking, should I get a better job and maybe try to have a kid instead? Some things get stuck in my head
5.
6.
Born Again 04:24
I’m turning eighteen In my golden dreams But I know that time was hard for me I didn’t have the strength back then To take what I needed and to leave What I didn’t need Got stoned in the car Watched the moon go speeding past When I woke there was a song in my head It’s been 15 years And I’m starting to remember it This is what you have got For your time on the earth This is what you have earned This is what you have got For all those hours in the world You can wear it like a sun around your face I’m ok I’m not lost for the moment One of these days I’m gonna be born again But it all came up so fast I looked up and I was tired and I had tried so hard Have you ever wanted to be loved so bad? And not by a person who could love you back And not by a person all But the world.  
7.
Palm Trees 03:42
I never thought I’d be alone for so long Forming my opinions all by myself for days on end Always wishing to be thin But it’s only my heart that’s shrinking. And if I move to California Where will my problems be then? Disappear among the palm trees? I feel so happy when I think about them But as quickly as the feelings come They drift away again I never thought I’d see it all laid out, quite so straight My happiness there on a plate I eat from it in every way And still there is a plate to lick I’ve never lost the taste of it And when I got to California I was Seduced by the size of the sky Threw my future at a man in a bar And he caught it without blinking an eye But as quickly as the future came It passed me by. Have I loved anyone? I cannot say My heart is so red one minute And black the next day And can we love anyone? I do not know Love’s a reflection More blinding than snow And is it natural To love only one? How much can I give you When I have none?
8.
Banging my head against a wall What do I look like, stupid? Banging my head against a wall Only a fool comes back for more Banging my head against a wall What do I look like, a fucking idiot? Banging my head against a wall I won’t come cos you won’t call If you were given love And the love was tainted Would you just close your eyes And hold on tight, hope you make it? If you stumble onto the road And a car comes round the bend Would you stand there in the headlights Just waiting for it to end? And banging your head against a wall What do I look like, stupid? Banging my head against a wall Only a fool comes back for more And It doesn’t hurt It doesn’t hurt for a while So you do it again And do it again The ruts get deeper and the mind just gives in The whole time I was with you I barely breathed at all Try keeping a low profile while you’re nailed to the wall And now it’s really happening baby There are changes being made Love can be a lucrative business When no-one else is getting paid And now I’m Banging my head against a wall
9.
Listen, It doesn’t matter like you think it does There’s nothing coming that’ll be enough You’ve gotta see it as a vehicle for love You wanna keep it dragging Cos you’re afraid to meet the city alone This huge city but it felt like home You can’t take credit for that all on your own You know it’s just the beginning You’re lonely Oh but ain’t you living? Take a deep breath Walk the streets till morning Walk em like you own the town Walk like nobody was really alive until now Listen, you really shouldn’t worry quite so much You have this idea that you’re losing touch You wanna hold it together But you don’t know exactly what that means A big move and you could be on top You know the top is just the bottom turned up You’re gonna keep it together You’re lonely But it’s not forever Take a deep breath Walk the streets for pleasure You don’t need a coat I predict good weather You know a feeling never killed no one Suck it up sweetheart, cos when it is done it is done Nothing breaks you like your own desire Take what you long for, look it dead straight in the eye Nothing could be better Nothing is forever Nothing could be easier I predict good weather
10.
Love and Low Self Esteem You and I don’t talk about what happened anymore I’ve made different friends; I go out less than I did before But every now and then I see you at a bar in town And I wonder - would I be happier, baby, if I hadn’t found you out? Cause I remember asking for the truth And if you’d given me that I could have put up with a lot from you But now the light is shining And it shines so differently on the past And it illuminates all of those questions I never thought to ask And sometimes I can’t tell the difference Between love and low self esteem ‘Cause it’s when I’m feeling tiny as an eyelash That’s when I want to be all you need I just don’t care at all That’s what I’d like to say to you, if it were true But I can’t get over how little I knew ‘Cause if you lied about her Then yes you lied about me And we both know you can’t really love a person that you just refuse to see And when you told me you don’t want to live together I know exactly what you mean Beause why would you want to pay for dinner When you eat every night for free? I just don’t care at all That’s what I’m gonna say to you, when it is true When I no longer need a single thing from you.

credits

released July 24, 2020

Produced and mixed by Tony Buchen, written by Jess Cornelius.

All songs recorded by Tony Buchen at West Avenue 34, 64 Sound and Stella Sound, Los Angeles except:
Palm Trees + Easy For No One recorded by Jarvis Taveniere at Comp-ny LA, additional recording by Tony Buchen at West Avenue 34.
Body Memory recorded by Daniel McNeil at Balboa, LA, additional recording by Tony Buchen at West Avenue 34.

Mastered by Andrew Edgson at 301.
Cover photography by Rachael Pony Cassells. Design and layout by Carl Breitkreuz.

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Jess Cornelius Los Angeles, California

Jess Cornelius writes arresting songs that capture the disorientation and endless possibilities of being in flux. On her sophomore album CARE/TAKING, the New Zealand-raised, Los Angeles-based artist sings of personal upheaval with striking lucidity and emotional nimbleness. ... more

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