1. |
Kitchen Floor
03:52
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Guy, take me out at night
I forgot to tell you
I’m from a different country
And there’s so much I don’t want from you
Guy, open up your home
Make me tea and toast
And later in the morning
I’ll find my shoes and makeup
Leaving gets so easy you just
Walk out of the bedroom
And then you walk
Out of the bathroom
And then you walk
Across the kitchen floor
And you just let your feet carry you
Straight out the front door.
Guy, I am getting older
People tell me I should
Find someone to look after
But I seem to keep on
Walking faster
Staying’s harder
Leaving can be easy, you just
Walk out of the bedroom
And then you walk
Out of the bathroom
And then you walk
Across the kitchen floor
And you just let your feet carry you
Straight out the front door.
Uh oh, this is gonna be a hard one
This is gonna be the hardest on I’ve ever done
How can I get it done?
How can I walk
Out of your bedroom
And then just let my fee carry me
Straight out your front door?
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2. |
No Difference
03:49
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Well it all feels harder than normal
And you wonder how it’s happened again
So you concentrate hard on your breathing
Cause it’s easier than feeling what you feel
Heave and hell, is only a concept
If it makes no difference, you might as well be happy about it
It makes no difference how you feel
If it’s gone it’s gone and
You gotta keep on doing without it
And one day it’ll feel like none of this was real
You wanna be like how they say in that old non-fiction
Just float along with the waves
Just back and forth in any direction
Whereever you end up is gonna be the right way
But we know
It’s not true
It’s so hard to take indifferent like that
If it makes no difference, you might as well be happy about it
It makes no difference if you care
If it’s gone it’s gone and
You gotta keep on doing without it
And one day it’ll feel like none of this was real
Go easy when you’re lying in your bed
Cos the thoughts you’re having then
are not the clearest or most logical of all
Go easy cos it’s harder in the night
And it’s harder when you’re tired
And you can’t see it’s just a feeling
And it’s separate from the real thing.
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3. |
Body Memory
04:14
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When we met I used to make you laugh
Then we lost the baby and it broke my heart
And I find it hard to be that funny now
Tried to tell you that I can’t rewind
I can’t walk backwards in my mind
Cos my body has a memory and it won’t forget
And I was my own woman once
And I was sure I was enough
Yes it’s true that I was on the fence
The future scared me half to death
But for those two weeks I felt like someone
We had a plan and the plan fell through
I wish it could be simple like it is for you
But my body has a memory and it won’t forget
And I was my own woman once
And I was sure I was enough
If you love me don’t hurt me like that
I know you’re feeling pressured and just
Talking ‘bout it makes you start to crack
If you love me don’t hurt me like that
Cos my body has a memory and it won’t forget
And my mind has a body and it’s not done yet.
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4. |
Easy For No One
03:44
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I know it’s easy for no one
It’s easy for no one at all
I see them leaning on the bar
With no clue as to who they are
And I don’t feel like I’m missing out on so much
Anymore
But I just can’t begin
I keep wasting my time
On other things
Like thinking of the past
and all the other lives I could have lived instead
Some things get stuck in my head
Maybe I’m dreaming but
That’s enough
I see no reason to be a bore
And all of those things they say that you should want
and should be aiming for
Forget them all
People are stupid and they don’t know what they’re saying
Most of the time
Time is a fool
It just doesn’t listen
It just doesn’t listen to me
It doesn’t do a thing I say
Keeps on passing anyway
But I don’t feel the same way about it anymore
Oh I just can’t begin
I keep wasting my time
On other things
Like thinking, should I get a better job
and maybe try to have a kid instead?
Some things get stuck in my head
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5. |
Here Goes Nothing
04:12
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6. |
Born Again
04:24
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I’m turning eighteen
In my golden dreams
But I know that time was hard for me
I didn’t have the strength back then
To take what I needed and to leave
What I didn’t need
Got stoned in the car
Watched the moon go speeding past
When I woke there was a song in my head
It’s been 15 years
And I’m starting to remember it
This is what you have got
For your time on the earth
This is what you have earned
This is what you have got
For all those hours in the world
You can wear it like a sun around your face
I’m ok I’m not lost
for the moment
One of these days I’m gonna be born again
But it all came up so fast
I looked up and I was tired and I had tried so hard
Have you ever wanted to be loved so bad?
And not by a person who could love you back
And not by a person all
But the world.
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7. |
Palm Trees
03:42
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I never thought I’d be alone for so long
Forming my opinions all by myself
for days on end
Always wishing to be thin
But it’s only my heart that’s shrinking.
And if I move to California
Where will my problems be then?
Disappear among the palm trees?
I feel so happy when I think about them
But as quickly as the feelings come
They drift away again
I never thought I’d see it all laid out, quite so straight
My happiness there on a plate
I eat from it in every way
And still there is a plate to lick
I’ve never lost the taste of it
And when I got to California I was
Seduced by the size of the sky
Threw my future at a man in a bar
And he caught it without blinking an eye
But as quickly as the future came
It passed me by.
Have I loved anyone?
I cannot say
My heart is so red one minute
And black the next day
And can we love anyone?
I do not know
Love’s a reflection
More blinding than snow
And is it natural
To love only one?
How much can I give you
When I have none?
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8. |
Banging My Head
03:06
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Banging my head against a wall
What do I look like, stupid?
Banging my head against a wall
Only a fool comes back for more
Banging my head against a wall
What do I look like, a fucking idiot?
Banging my head against a wall
I won’t come cos you won’t call
If you were given love
And the love was tainted
Would you just close your eyes
And hold on tight, hope you make it?
If you stumble onto the road
And a car comes round the bend
Would you stand there in the headlights
Just waiting for it to end?
And banging your head against a wall
What do I look like, stupid?
Banging my head against a wall
Only a fool comes back for more
And It doesn’t hurt
It doesn’t hurt for a while
So you do it again
And do it again
The ruts get deeper and the mind just gives in
The whole time I was with you
I barely breathed at all
Try keeping a low profile while you’re nailed to the wall
And now it’s really happening baby
There are changes being made
Love can be a lucrative business
When no-one else is getting paid
And now I’m
Banging my head against a wall
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9. |
Street Haunting
03:38
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Listen,
It doesn’t matter like you think it does
There’s nothing coming that’ll be enough
You’ve gotta see it as a vehicle for love
You wanna keep it dragging
Cos you’re afraid to meet the city alone
This huge city but it felt like home
You can’t take credit for that all on your own
You know it’s just the beginning
You’re lonely
Oh but ain’t you living?
Take a deep breath
Walk the streets till morning
Walk em like you own the town
Walk like nobody was really alive until now
Listen, you really shouldn’t worry quite so much
You have this idea that you’re losing touch
You wanna hold it together
But you don’t know exactly what that means
A big move and you could be on top
You know the top is just the bottom turned up
You’re gonna keep it together
You’re lonely
But it’s not forever
Take a deep breath
Walk the streets for pleasure
You don’t need a coat
I predict good weather
You know a feeling never killed no one
Suck it up sweetheart, cos when it is done it is done
Nothing breaks you like your own desire
Take what you long for, look it dead straight in the eye
Nothing could be better
Nothing is forever
Nothing could be easier
I predict good weather
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10. |
Love and Low Self Esteem
04:22
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Love and Low Self Esteem
You and I don’t talk about what happened anymore
I’ve made different friends; I go out less than I did before
But every now and then I see you at a bar in town
And I wonder - would I be happier, baby, if I hadn’t found you out?
Cause I remember asking for the truth
And if you’d given me that I could have put up with a lot from you
But now the light is shining
And it shines so differently on the past
And it illuminates all of those questions
I never thought to ask
And sometimes I can’t tell the difference
Between love and low self esteem
‘Cause it’s when I’m feeling tiny as an eyelash
That’s when I want to be all you need
I just don’t care at all
That’s what I’d like to say to you, if it were true
But I can’t get over how little I knew
‘Cause if you lied about her
Then yes you lied about me
And we both know you can’t really love a person that you just refuse to see
And when you told me you don’t want to live together
I know exactly what you mean
Beause why would you want to pay for dinner
When you eat every night for free?
I just don’t care at all
That’s what I’m gonna say to you, when it is true
When I no longer need a single thing from you.
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Jess Cornelius Los Angeles, California
Jess Cornelius writes arresting songs that capture the disorientation and endless possibilities of being in flux. On her sophomore album CARE/TAKING, the New Zealand-raised, Los Angeles-based artist sings of personal upheaval with striking lucidity and emotional nimbleness. ... more
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